How the little things count
by XxStephXx
Summary: AU James and Lily are alive Harry is 18 months. Lily leaves James and takes Harry with her. Can he put things right and win his family back?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Lily stood in her living room, tears running down her face. She couldn't believe what she was about to do, that it had got this far. James hadn't been home in 2 days, Harry hadn't seen his dad in 4 days. They couldn't continue the way things were. She was leaving her husband.

Lily looked down at 18 month old Harry, sound asleep in his pram. It was almost 4 in the morning, and she had only just now worked up the courage to do this when she realised that for the second night in a row he wasn't coming home.

She didn't think he was having affair, most wives would if their husbands made a habit out of not coming home at nights. He was working, he was an auror and always working. She understood that he had to work especially with the aftermath of the war, even with Voldemort dead there were attacks. Groups of deatheaters were trying to take control and replace Voldemort in the wizarding world, so the attacks were more frequent and just as horrific as they used to be. Lily was a healer so of course she understood the extra work, but she came home every night and didn't go days without seeing her son.

Things had gone downhill during the past year, and she couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't put her or Harry through the pain anymore. Just that afternoon Harry had looked up at her and asked her if his Daddy was dead, because he hadn't seen him in so long.

"I'm sorry baby, this is best for both of us. Who knows maybe it will give your Daddy a good kick up the backside, and he can start being the dad he used to be to you," said Lily to Harry and she wiped the tears from her face.

She shakily removed her rings and sat them down on the table next to the court documents. She had filed for divorce yesterday, hoping it would show James how close he was to losing his family. But then he didn't come home.

"Come on then," she said picking up their bags and apparating with Harry, to the house she had arranged to rent on a new wizarding village closeby.

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"I'm back," James called out wearily, "And Lily don't start, I slept in the on call room…"

Suddenly realizing the house was strangely quiet and in complete darkness at 8pm. Harry should be in bed, but where was Lily?

"LILY….." he called out. No answer.

He ran up the stairs and opened the door to Harry's room. It was empty.

'_What the hell is going on? I bet Lily had to work late too, after the way she gets on at me she will be hearing about this for a long time. I should go to the hospital and get him…Lily won't be too long, she'll bring him. I need to get some proper food, I wonder if she left anything in the fridge for me'_ he thought to himself going downstairs.

He went into the living room and turned on the light. That was when he spotted the brown envelope on the table with Lily's wedding rings on top.

And he knew, even before he read the documents he knew.

He sat down, calmly read them. Holding Lily's rings tight in his fist.

That night he slept in Harry's room, wanting to feel as close to his son as he could. Still holding Lily's rings.

He would talk to Lily first thing in the morning, make her see sense and bring them both home.

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**I know it was short but the next chapter will be better when Lily and James come face to face and James realizes how bad things are. Oh and review and let me know what you think **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

James had overslept for work the next morning so he didn't have time to get in touch with Lily. He assumed he would see her later, if he got a break he would go to the hospital. He would take the night off and take her to dinner and everything would be alright.

He went to St Mungo's at lunchtime. There had been an attack in a muggle town, so the hospital was in chaos. He saw Lily, she was wearing her green blouse, and white lab coat, it just made her stand out even more. She was shouting orders at her interns, trying to clear the floor and get everyone stable.

He stood at the door watching her, she looked up and saw him. She barked an order at an intern and announced she was taking a break.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to notice, we were gone," said Lily indicating to James to follow her to her office.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You left divorce papers on the coffee table, I would hardly expect you to be upstairs waiting for me in lingerie," said James mad at how calm and unaffected she seemed. He had expected to see a little more emotion from her.

"I have done enough waiting for you, to do me a lifetime," she snapped, "So when did you notice we were gone?"

"Last night," said James.

"Ha I should have known we left on Sunday night," said Lily coldly.

"You could have called me, talked to me. You can't just take my son," snapped James.

"I can. You haven't seen him since Wednesday morning," said Lily.

"I was working, to keep you…."

"Don't even start, we didn't need your salary or mine really for that matter," snapped Lily, they had both inherited a ton of money, and could live more than comfortably on the interest alone.

"There was a war," said James.

"I know and I also know you have to work more, so do I but I do not go a week without seeing my son. He thinks that it is normal for Daddy to never be around."

"Hey I love Harry…."

"I never said you didn't."

"You implied it"

"No I said Harry thinks all Dads put their work before their families," snapped Lily.

"I never did," James shouted.

"You did!"

"You are not taking my son away from me, I'll fight you"

"I'm not trying to stop you from seeing him," said Lily, "Give me a few days notice and you can see him anytime you want"

"You know I can't do that, I can get called in to work at anytime"

"Well that is strange because I thought you didn't put work before your family," smirked Lily.

"I don't"

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt"

"That's it! I don't put work above my son, I am taking Harry home with me"

"No you're not. You don't even know where he is," shouted Lily.

"Day care"

"Wrong, its Tuesday daycare is closed on a Tuesday," smirked Lily.

"I'll file for custody," threatened James.

"Go ahead, you haven't a hope in hell"

"Try me"

"I said go ahead, I'll see you in court"

"Fine," said James storming.

"Damn it," Lily shouted out in frustration, that was not how she wanted that to go. She didn't want things to get nasty between her and James. She still loved him. A small part of her was hoping he would come running up to her and give her a big grand speech and promise to change. But he didn't, he didn't even seem to care that she was willing to divorce him. He only wanted Harry. Even though he was still in denial about how much he worked and was never there.

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James was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. How had that happened this morning? He had gone there to tell her, he loved her and to convince her to come home. And somehow they had ended up arguing and he was fighting for custody. Things like that just seemed to happen with him and Lily, one minute they were arguing the next they would be "making up". They both had quick tempers and were as stubborn as hell.

How had he lost his wife and his son in 2 days. Maybe she was just PMSing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

James and Lily were sitting on either side of a large wooded table. They were meeting with a judge to decide temporary custody of Harry, until the divorce proceedings started and they could determine what would happen in the long term. It was a week since Lily had moved out with Harry.

"Okay I have heard both side arguments, and evidence from Mrs. Potter," said the judge.

Lily had shown the judge, James' time sheet from work, the sign in sheet from Harry's daycare and her work schedule. These showed the hours James worked, that he hadn't dropped off or collected Harry in over a year, and that she had a manageable work schedule.

"And I have decided to award temporary custody to Mrs. Potter…" the judge continued.

"Oh come on," protested James.

"What did you seriously expect?" Lily retorted.

"However Mr. Potter will have weekly supervised visits," said the judge, "Sunday afternoons 12 til 4. If Mr. Potter has to cancel or fails to show up twice in the next four weeks, we will be right back here to reassess the situation."

"Supervised visits? With my own son?"

"Merely a formality Mr. Potter," said the judge, then he got up and left.

"It was you that wanted it this way," said Lily.

"You didn't need to bring in the schedules," said James, "You made me look like I don't care"

"It certainly didn't feel like you cared most of the time in this past year," said Lily.

"I did care, I do care," said James. He was finally seeing a little emotion from Lily, she had closed him out so far.

"Well try showing it more," said Lily getting up.

"I am trying, maybe if you came back…"

"No, you pulling this into the courts is nowhere near enough. Just make sure you sure you show up for your visits, if you do we can talk about you seeing him more than once a week," she said.

"Okay," mumbled James.

"I'll see you Sunday then"

"Bye"

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WEEK 1

"Hi, I'm not too early am I?" said James eagerly.

"Not at all, come in," smiled Lily with Harry balanced on her hip. She opened the door and let him in.

"Hey little guy, I've missed you," said James taking Harry.

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WEEK 2

"Potter, attack in Knockturn Alley Go!" Moody barked at James.

"Sir I have a visit with my son in 10 minutes," said James.

"I don't care. Go Potter," he shouted.

'Well the judge did say I could miss 2 visits. Lily is going to kill me. I'll buy them both a present next week'

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WEEK 3

"JAMES, JAMES!!" Sirius shouted to him.

"Huh what?" mumbled James waking up in the on call room. He had up all night taking victims to St Mungos and then doing the paper work.

"James, it's 4 thirty," said Sirius, "I thought you had already gone"

"What day is it?"

"It's Sunday and you're too late. This arrived for you a few minutes ago," he said handing James an envelope.

"A court summons for tomorrow morning," said James sadly.

"I'm sorry mate," said Sirius.

"I can't believe I messed this up. My wife and my son, I'm not going to get anywhere near either of them," said James devastated.

"Come on mate this is Lily, she's going to come back. You two are made for each other, it's just a rough patch"

"I'm not so sure"

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"Lily," said James, they were standing outside the judges chambers.

"Don't," she snapped.

"Please let me explain," he pleaded.

"No. I thought you would finally start to take being a parent seriously and then you show up once and then….nothing. Forget it, I don't want to hear it. I get it I'm doing this alone," said Lily not even looking at him.

"You're not," he protested.

"I am. You are not there, you haven't seen Harry in two weeks…I'm raising our son alone."

"Lily, please I didn't think…"

"You didn't. You don't think about anything but your work and yourself, and it cost you your family," said Lily.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded.

"It's too late James"

"The Judge is ready for you," said a secretary.

They went inside, James' visitation rights were taken away. Lily no longer had any legal obligation to let James see Harry.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was the night after James' visitation rights had been withdrawn. Lily, Alice and their friend Susan decided to go out for the night. Lily left Harry with James' mother.

"I don't know why you insisted I come along, I have paperwork, and a child," moaned Lily, she really hadn't wanted to come along.

"Because you need to get out, you can't just sit about moping about James forever," said Susan.

"But you didn't see him, he was devastated. He thinks he's never going to see Harry again," Lily protested.

"It serves him right, he didn't come and see him for 2 weeks," said Alice.

"He doesn't mean to be so….he really does love him. James doesn't mean to put him last, he just doesn't think about how actions affect us."

"He's a selfish bastard then"

"No, well yeah recently. But he wasn't always, he was sweet, caring, attentive and…."

"And nothing, he hasn't been lately. You had no choice but to walk out. Wait and see if he can get his act together and then decide if you want him back," said Alice.

"I want him back now though, I miss him," said Lily.

"Lily…"

"I know, I know. I have to be strong for me and Harry, but it's hard I still love him," said Lily.

"We know and we know it's not easy. But tonight is a girls night out, we are not going to think about children or men, agreed?" said Susan.

"Agreed"

"Agreed"

"Alright then, Martini's all round then?" said Susan.

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

Lily looked round the club and up at the bar drowning his sorrows was none other than James. He looked up and saw her too.

"I'm just going to go and say hello," said Lily.

"Lily……" groaned Alice.

"It's rude not to," she insisted, "I'll be two minutes, I promise."

She got and went to the bar, she stood next to James who was just staring into the bottom of his glass.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked.

She was worried about him, he hadn't slept in days. He was unshaven and really just looked like crap, not like James at all. Just standing next to him, she could smell the alcohol he had been there for a while.

"Nope, I'm all alone," he said miserably.

"James, this might be a stupid question but are you alright?"

"Me? I'm absolutely fine, my wife upped and left me with my son. Then some judge tells me I'm not fit to be a father, so in the space of a few weeks I've lost the two people I love most in the world," said James taking a swig of his firewhiskey.

"Don't you think you've had enough of that?"

"Nope, it numbs the pain."

"James I think you should go home," said Lily.

"Home," he laughed bitterly, "an empty house, an empty bed no baby in the crib"

"James….."

"You're beautiful you know? You are absolutely stunning, I saw you the moment you walked in here. I always loved you in that," he said meaning the black dress Lily was wearing.

"Um thank you," said Lily, she had never seen him this drunk and depressed, the guilt was almost crushing her. She was the reason he was so….broken.

"Why did you do it? Why are you doing this?"

"James I am not doing this to hurt you, you were the one that wanted to take the custody through the courts. It doesn't mean that you're not a great dad…."

"In the eyes of the law you have no obligation to ever let me see my son again."

"You know I'm not going to keep him from you, you're his dad. Just pull yourself together and we can talk," said Lily.

"Come back, please just come home," said James looking up at her, his eyes full of pain.

"I'm sorry James, I am so sorry. I can't, I can't come back right now," said Lily feeling like she was going to cry, she hadn't wanted to hurt him this bad.

"No, why would you even want to come back to a crappy husband and an even crappier father, you two are probably better off," said James.

"Better off? Are you kidding me? Every morning our son asks me why Daddy has to have his own house, and every day I am constantly exhausted because I have to work a full time job, keep a house clean and raise a child on my own. So don't even think that we are better off, there is a huge hole in our lives where you are supposed to be," said Lily her temper flaring.

"I miss you both so much," said James taking Lily's left hand in his.

"And we miss you"

"Do you miss me? As a husband not a parent?" he said not letting her pull her hand away.

"Yes I do miss you, but James I've missed you for a while now. You have to start thinking about us more often, it's not just about you anymore," said Lily.

"I'm sorry, if you come back I swear I will…."

"It's too late now. You need to start doing it before I would even consider coming back," said Lily.

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," said James sadly nodding his head, "I wish you hadn't left your rings, it seems so final. The fact that you left them behind, makes it seem like you don't want them anymore," he said rubbing the finger her rings used to be with his thumb.

"I knew you would take good care of them," said Lily.

"Right," he said letting go of her hand.

"It's not that I don't want them anymore, I just want to man I married back. Then man that made me feel special, loved and came home every night. And Harry needs his Daddy back, the Daddy that would read him a bedtime story, give him his bath, take him to Quidditch matches, the one that would pester me to let him take the baby out on the broomstick. Because for the past year or so that hasn't been you James," said Lily.

"I do love you, I'm sorry if I didn't make you feel loved. But I do love you, I love you so much, as much as I did on our wedding day if not more," said James.

"I love you too," said Lily quietly.

"Do you? Do you really?"

"Yes"

"Then come back, if we still love each other then surely…."

"No James, it isn't enough"

"How can it not be enough?"

"Because it's gotten too far, maybe I should have talked to you about this before it got to this, but I didn't, and now it's too late. Show me that you've changed by being the best father you can. Our son comes first"

"You're right, of course. Harry comes first, he always come first," said James.

"Yes he does," said Lily, "What are you working tomorrow?"

"Night shift," grunted James.

"Do you want to come by tomorrow then to see Harry?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I have mountains of paperwork to do, so if you could come and look after him for the afternoon," said Lily.

"Of course I will, and I won't be late I promise," said James eagerly.

"Good," laughed Lily, "Then I suggest you go home, get some sleep, have a shower and shave"

"Okay then, I'll see you at noon"

"Okay," said Lily, getting up to walk away.

"And Lily?"

"Yeah"

"Thank you"

"No problem, he's your son"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next day James nervously rang Lily's door bell. He hoped he wasn't too early.

"Hi," said Lily quietly as she opened the door.

"Hi, why are we whispering?"

"Harry is asleep," said Lily letting James in.

"Why is he asleep it's too early for a nap?" said James.

"He didn't sleep well last night. He's been having nightmares, so he was up most of the night," said Lily taking James into the living room.

James smiled when he saw Harry sleeping on the couch. He was adorable, curled up in a ball, his cute black hair spiking up at all angles. His cheeks were flushed, he was sucking his thumb rubbing his index finger on his little button nose.

"Look how sweet he looks when he's asleep. But I can tell you he wasn't half as cute when he was waking up screaming every 15 minutes," said Lily, watching James watch Harry.

"Every 15 minutes, what was he having nightmares about?" said James worried now.

"Scary men in hooded robes coming to get us," said Lily.

"Deatheaters"

"Exactly," sighed Lily, "I don't know why he's having these nightmares, he was only a baby when they attacked us"

"He is still only a baby. Has anything unusual happened, anything out of the ordinary?"

"No, well except the obvious," said Lily meaning the separation.

"But any suspicious people hanging around, new staff at his daycare. Anything at all, even something you don't think is important," pressed James.

"No, nothing. I'm not an idiot James I know there is a chance we didn't cover our tracks well enough and that the rest of those people could find out how he got that scar, but nothing has happened just the nightmares," said Lily heatedly.

"Alright okay, you know I had to ask," said James.

"Yeah okay I know, you're worried as well," said Lily.

"I'll put up some security round here anyway just to be sure," said James.

"We don't need it anymore," said Lily they had a safe house in James' house, it was tight security because they had lived there when Voldemort was still around.

"It couldn't hurt"

"This is a safe neighborhood"

"Even so. Just an alarm, that will alert you to anyone invisible, using disguises and magical creatures except owls," said James, "Please, just to keep you both safe"

"Okay, fine I guess you're right," said Lily, "I should wake him, or he's not going to sleep tonight"

Lily bent down and shook Harry gently. "Harry, it's time to wake up," she said softly.

"Mummy…." Said Harry sleepily coming round.

"Yeah, you want some juice?" she said.

"Uh huh," said Harry rubbing his eyes.

"James can you bring him through?"

"Daddy…" said Harry still struggling to open his eyes.

"Yeah it's Daddy," said James picking him up. Harry put his arms round James' neck and cuddled his head into his shoulder, his eyes still adjusting to the light.

James followed Lily into the kitchen, he sat down at the table sitting Harry on his lap.

"Coffee?" asked Lily as she gave Harry his sippy cup.

"Please," said James, stroking the top of Harry's head.

Lily made them both a coffee, she gave James his. She felt Harry's forehead with the back of her hand.

"He's still a little warm," she said, "Might just be the potion wearing off"

"What potion?"

"I gave him a potion to make him have a dreamless sleep, he was scared to close his eyes. I had to do something," said Lily she knew James didn't agree with giving Harry potions.

"I suppose," said James.

"You didn't see him, he was howling, shaking in my arms. He was going to make himself ill," said Lily.

"No I didn't see him," said James bitterly, "You could have owled me"

"I thought you needed a good nights sleep as well," said Lily.

"Well next time there is a problem involving Harry, if he is ill…."

"Okay I'll owl you," said Lily, "I'm sorry I didn't last night"

"Thank you"

"Daddy stop fighting with Mummy," said Harry, now fully alert.

"He wasn't fighting with me," said Lily.

"He was nearly shouting," said Harry, "Daddy don't shout at Mummy, it makes her sad"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout," said James, "Sorry Lily"

"It's fine, you have every right to be annoyed," said Lily, "And Daddy tells you what to do, not the other way around."

"Sorry Daddy," said Harry.

"It's okay Harry was right, I shouldn't shout at you"

"It made her cry…when you shouted…"

"Harry that is enough," said Lily, "Now do you want some breakfast?"

"Yes please Mummy," said Harry.

"Okay then. James you hungry?"

"Um…. I guess"

"Harry take Daddy up to your room," said Lily, "I left his clothes for the day on his bed"

"Alright, come on little guy," said James lifting Harry up above his head. Harry squealed in delight.

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"Alright that's him tucked up in bed," said James that night. He had spent the whole day with Harry and had bathed him and put him to bed.

"Thank you," said Lily gratefully. She had managed to get all her paperwork done, which was a first when Harry was around she usually couldn't get anything done.

"No problem, I've loved spending this much time with him," said James.

"You should do it more often," smiled Lily.

"Yeah and I should have been doing it this past year," said James sadly.

"I didn't mean it like…."

"I know you didn't," said James, "Look about what Harry said this morning about you cr…"

"Harry has never seen me crying, he was half asleep," said Lily.

"He's not even 2 yet, he couldn't make it up. He must have seen you," said James.

"He must have, but he won't see it again I thought he was in bed I didn't know he had saw that," said Lily.

"I'm sorry I made you cry, I would never intentionally want to hurt or upset you," said James sadly.

"I know and it's okay," said Lily.

"It's not"

"Look we've both hurt each other. I saw the state you were in last night and I know that it was because of me and what I did," said Lily.

"You wouldn't have had to if I…."

"James we could do this all night," sighed Lily, "don't you have to get to work?"

"So I'm a little late, what are they going to do, sack me?" said James.

"They might," said Lily.

"I don't care that job has cost me everything"

"You love that job"

"Not as much as I love you"

"James…."

"I know, you're not going to come back until I start showing you I've changed and that I can be the way I was. No'one will ever love you as much as I do," said James turning Lily round to face him.

"I know," she whispered.

"I am going to be doing all the things I should have done and more. I'm not giving up on you, on us. I never gave up and school and I'll be damned if I do now," he said.

"Just be the best the dad you can be," said Lily her eyes filling up.

"Don't cry, I'm not trying to make you cry…I don't mean to upset you," said James.

"You're not," said Lily wiping her eyes.

"Then…."

"I don't know," said Lily.

"You don't know?"

"No"

"Well cut it out, you know I can't handle emotional women," laughed James.

"I'm sorry," said Lily the tears still falling.

"Don't be, it's okay," said James pulling her into a hug.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Where is James? He said he'd be here 10 minutes ago," said Lily pacing up the hospital waiting room with Harry in her arms.

"Look Lily you don't have to come with me it's fine," said her best friend Sophie, she was 7 months pregnant. Her husband had died just after she found out she was pregnant. Lily was going to go with her for her check up, but she needed James to look after Harry, the daycare was closed that day.

"I'm coming with you alright, if James would just hurry up," said Lily.

"You know what he is like, he's probably sitting at his desk working as always," said Sophie.

"No, he's not been like that these past 3 months. He's been there you know whenever we need him, he took Harry to the Quidditch match…He's been more like his old self," said Lily.

"Then where is he?"

"I don't know," said Lily, then she spotted Sirius out in the hallway, "SIRIUS!"

"Hi Lily, hey Harry," said Sirius picking up his godson.

"Do you know where James is? He is supposed to be looking after Harry," said Lily.

"Oh he is probably still with Melanie," said Sirius paying more attention to Harry than to what he was actually saying.

"Melanie? Is that the same one…." Said Sophie.

"We met in the bar last week, yeah," said Sirius.

"So he's not coming?" said Lily managing to keep her emotions out her voice.

"I doubt it, they'll be too busy right now," said Sirius, "I can look after him if you want my shift just finished"

"Are you sure? You must be tired," said Lily.

"I've always got time for my favorite godson," said Sirius.

"Okay then thank you. You can just stay here if you want, there are some toys and stuff in his bag and I should be back in a half hour," said Lily.

"Okay no problem take your time," said Sirius.

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"Are you okay?" Sophie asked Lily as they made their way to maternity.

"No"

"Is this because…."

"Because James is off screwing some woman called Melanie he met in a bar last week. Yeah it is," said Lily.

"I'm so sorry I didn't know he started seeing her," said Sophie.

"What did you know?"

"Just that they met her in a bar, she hit on James he turned her down…and she went off with some nasty looking guy," said Sophie.

"Well apparently he changed his mind, and now my husband is off having sex instead of looking after his son," said Lily angrily.

"Lils don't do this, don't pretend you're angry…."

"I am angry, I am furious at him for ignoring his responsibility as a parent," fumed Lily.

"You're hurting, you love him and you think he's moving on, you shouldn't cover it with anger. Talk to James," said Sophie, who knew Lily and her temper all too well.

"I don't want to talk to him," said Lily, "I want to divorce him, I mean if he can go and meet people in bars and have sex, why can't I? I mean I filed but I still haven't had the papers drawn up. I'll have to go and get that done today"

"Lily, don't do anything you're going to regret or say something you can't take back"

"I won't regret this"

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That night after Harry went to bed. The doorbell rang and even before she opened the door she knew it was James. He had received the divorce papers then. (Wizarding divorces are a lot faster, they use magic to split marital assets appropriately. This happened as soon as both parties signed the papers.) She opened the door and there he was and he looked pissed.

"What do you want James? Harry is in bed," she said.

"What is this?" he said holding up the papers.

"Looks like divorce papers to me," said Lily dryly.

"Why? Why did you have to go and do this? We've been getting along," said James, "I am so sorry about today, I couldn't leave. Sirius said he watched Harry. It was a really delicate case, there was no way I could get away."

"It's one thing to not show up, to not call or leave a message or anything but it's another to blatantly lie about where you were. Sirius told me about Melanie and I hope you two will be very happy together. The judge was right, you're not fit to be a father to our son," shouted Lily then she slammed the door before James could say anything.

"LILY, Lily come on open this door and let me explain," he shouted banging on the door.

He tried for another five minutes before giving up and leaving. When she heard him apparate Lily broke down in tears right against the front door.

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An hour later Lily had managed to pull herself together. She was sitting at the kitchen table with some paperwork in front of her and a huge tub of ice cream. When she was upset she ate. The doorbell rang again, she got up and lifted her wand. It was dark outside now and she didn't want to take any chance, and if it was James again she could hex him. She looked through the peephole. It was Sirius. She opened the front door.

"Sirius! What are you doing here? Harry is in bed," she said opening the door and letting him in.

"That's alright, its you I came to see," said Sirius.

"Okay," said Lily.

"I just saw James, he's devastated. Did you tell him he couldn't see Harry anymore? And divorce papers? What is going on? I thought you two were getting along now," said Sirius.

"I didn't tell him he couldn't see Harry anymore, well not in so many words…. I was angry and wanted to hurt him…"

"Well you managed that"

"I'll talk to him in the morning, apologise. I'm never going to stop him being a dad," sighed Lily.

"And the divorce papers?"

"He's seeing someone else, he moved on. Divorce is inevitable," said Lily sadly.

"Seeing someone else? He's hasn't been able to get you out of his head, he can't even look at other women. He keeps your wedding rings in his pocket everyday, just so that when the day comes that he has worked hard enough for you to come back, he can put them right back on your finger. Who the hell told you he was seeing someone else? And why would you believe them?"

"You, you told me this afternoon, and I believed you because you are his best friend and you don't lie to me," said Lily.

"When did I say that?"

"Uh you said he was still with Melanie and they were 'busy'," said Lily.

"Melanie? You have got that so wrong," said Sirius realising her mistake, "Melanie is a girl we met last week at the bar…"

"And she hit on James I know," snapped Lily.

"Yeah at first, and he told her he was married, he is still wearing his ring for Merlin's sake," said Sirius, "anyway she stayed and talked to us for a while, then she went home with this horrible nasty looking guy…"

"And James got jealous…."

"Will you stop butting in?" snapped Sirius.

"Sorry," mumbled Lily.

"Anyway she called James this morning, she was raped. That guy raped her, bound her and she only managed to escape this morning. She called James because he was such a nice guy to her that night. She was traumatized and she wouldn't speak to anyone else but him. He tried to leave, but he couldn't not with her sobbing and begging him to stay and get the guy that did that to her. What could he do?"

"Oh my god, that is terrible," gasped Lily.

"I think you owe James an apology," said Sirius.

"Uh yeah I guess I do," said Lily, "I'll go in the morning"

"I think it would be better if you go now," said Sirius, "He was really bad when I left him"

"But…"

"I'll stay here with Harry," said Sirius, "and take your time, take all night I don't have any plans"

"Thank you," said Lily pulling on her shoes.

-------------------------------------------------

Lily still had her keys to their old house. She let herself in, and looked around. James wasn't in the kitchen. She walked into the living room, and found him sitting on the chair just staring at the wall.

"James," she said, he had his back to her.

"Lily?"

"Yeah it's me"

"What do you want? You found another way to hurt me, what else could you possibly do…"

"James, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it, you are a terrific father, I just wanted to hurt you because….."

"Why?" said James standing in front of Lily.

"Sirius told me you were busy with Melanie today…and I assumed you were sleeping with her. I was angry and I lashed out and you when you did nothing wrong," said Lily avoiding James' powerful eyes.

"I put the job before my family again," said James sadly looking away.

"James look at me, look at me," urged Lily, James turned his head and looked straight into her eyes, "You had no choice, what sort of person could walk out on a rape victim when they were the only person they trusted. I understand, you did the right thing, and I'm sorry I didn't take the time to find that out"

"I wouldn't start seeing someone, I couldn't. I love my wife and when I took those vows in sickness and in health, for better or worse and forsaking all others until death do us part, I meant them and I intend on keeping them," said James, "So if you think for a second that I am going to sign those divorce papers…."

James was cut off by Lily pressing her lips to his. Surprised at first but it only took James a second to respond to her, and before they knew it he had her pressed up against the wall, and was trailing kissing down her neck. He reached up her skirt and tugged her panties down………..

-------------------------------------

After they had finished they just stared at each other. James was still holding her up against the wall. Neither of them said anything.

"James, James are you here," they suddenly heard Remus shout from the back door.

Lily jumped out of James' arms and pulled down her skirt. She grabbed her panties and just before Remus entered the living room she ducked behind the couch.

"Hey, didn't you hear me shouting you?" said Remus.

"Uh no sorry mate, I was uh sleeping," said James.

"Well Sirius told me you were depressed so I thought I'd come and cheer you up," said Remus.

"Um thanks for the thought but I'm beat I think I'm just going to have an early night," said James,

"You sure? I don't want to leave you here if you're just going to get off your face and…"

"I'm alright, really," said James.

"Well if you're sure…"

"I am"

"Okay then, I'll come by tomorrow then?"

"Yeah thanks," said James.

Remus apparated out. When he did James peeked his head over the couch.

"Is he gone?" Lily asked looking up.

"Yeah he is," said James helping Lily up. "Why were you hiding?"

"In case he saw or suspected…"

"We didn't do anything we should be ashamed of. We are two consenting adult, we're married, sex is allowed. In my opinion…" said James then he saw the look in Lily's eyes, "you don't want this to change anything do you?"

"No, it shouldn't change things because none of our problems were to do with sex," said Lily.

"Okay then, if that is what you want," said James slowly.

"It's for the best"

"Okay then, we'll just forget it happened then," he said.

"Okay," said Lily uncertainly.

"But if you feel it should happen again, I am more than happen to be your walking, talking sex toy," teased James.

"That's funny Potter"

"I'm just saying…." He laughed, then he leaned forward and kissed his quickly on the lips, "Just so I can remember"

"Hmmmmm," she smiled.

"Accio divorce papers," said James.

"Huh?"

Then the divorce papers came flying in from the study. James muttered something and suddenly they burst into flames and the ashes fell to the ground.

"I'll see you soon Lily"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Mr. Potter," a Healer shouted to James. He had just brought in some injured people that had got caught up in an attack.

"Yeah," he said.

"Do you have a minute?" said the Healer that James now recognized as being some called Sarah that worked with Lily.

"Uh my shift is finished, you'll need to get someone else," said James.

"It's not that, it's Lily," said Sarah.

"What about Lily? Is she hurt?"

"No, nothing like that. I just think she needs to go home but she won't listen to me," said Sarah.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"She has the flu," said Sarah, "You know what she is like."

"Yeah I do," said James, "Where is she?"

"Staff room," said Sarah, "Do you know…."

"Yeah I know where it is," said James.

"Okay I have to get back to my patients, tell her she can have the rest of the week off," said Sarah dashing off.

"Okay then," said James then he muttered to himself, "see that damn woman, can never admit that she is ill"

James went down to the staff room and went in. Lily was lying on one of the sofas, she didn't even notice him coming in. She was pale, and sick looking, she looked like death.

"Lily," he said kneeling down next to her.

"James," said Lily squinting, "Harry? Or…."

"It's James," he said laughing softly she was delirious.

"James," she said putting her hand on his cheek, "You're pretty"

"Why thank you, Lily. Come on I'm taking you home," said James, scooping her up in his arms.

"Jamie…I think I'm sick," pouted Lily.

"Really?"

"Uh huh, I feel yucky"

"I'll bet," said James lifting her off the sofa.

"Are we apparating?"

"Yes, you are in no fit state to try and walk"

"It's been a long time since we apparated together"

"Yeah it has," said James.

"It was our anniversary last year, when we went out for dinner," said Lily, "Do we ignore our anniversary this year?"

Their 3 year wedding anniversary was 2 months away. It was 3 weeks since they had slept together, and they hadn't spoken about it since.

"I don't know Lily," sighed James, he was hoping they would be back together by their anniversary but now he wasn't even sure she would ever take him back.

"I thought we would have things sorted by then," said Lily, "Either divorce or try again"

"Well you are not getting a divorce from me," said James.

"That's good then," said Lily, "I didn't really want to file in the first place, I was hoping to shock you a little"

"Shame it didn't work," said James, he apparated them back to Lily's house. He placed her down on the couch.

"James, are you going back to work?"

"No, I'm not going to leave you when you're like this," said James, "You're burning up"

"I have the fucking flu. I can make bones grow back, put heads back on but I can't cure the flu," said Lily.

"Well I'll see what I can do to make you feel better," chuckled James trying to remember what potion lowered a persons temperature.

"Sex!"

"Pardon," said James.

"Sex, I miss sex. I don't get orgasms anymore, I miss that. Sex was always fun, amazing actually," babbled Lily, "You were good, at that. I'm horny…. I always loved the way you kissed my neck, that always turned me on"

"Okay, then I'll keep that in mind," said James brushing the hair out of Lily's face.

"James I want to have sex now," whined Lily.

"Lily, if you weren't hallucinating and feeling the full effects of the flu trust me we would be upstairs right now," said James.

"But…."

"No, come on you'll regret it in the morning and I am not taking advantage of you when you are like this," said James.

"I'm giving you the advantage," said Lily.

"Lily what colour is my shirt?"

Lily turned and squinted at him. "It the red one, with the cute little collar," said Lily, she really couldn't tell, so she guessed he was wearing his favorite.

"No," he said looking down at his yellow t shirt.

"ARE YOU NAKED?"

"Lily, lie down I'm going to go and get you some medicine that will help you to sleep this off," said James.

"Okay then. Is it because I'm coldhearted and ugly?"

"Sweetie you're at not at all coldhearted, you're sweet, warm and kind. You could never be ugly, not to me," he said even though she was pale, sweaty and sickly looking.

"Really, you're not just saying that?" she pouted.

James didn't know why he did it, but he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips, "I'm not just saying that, you really are beautiful and you always will be to me."

"Thank you"

"Anytime," he said then he got up to get her a sleeping potion.

-------------------------------------

The next morning Lily went downstairs and into the kitchen and found James making breakfast while Harry sat on the counter and passed him plates.

"Mummy," Harry shouted when he saw her, stretching out his little arms.

"Hi sweetie," said Lily, lifting Harry.

"Daddy let me have a chocolate frog last night," giggled Harry.

"Did he?"

"So much for it being our little secret," said James, "He was missing you"

"It's okay," said Lily.

"How are you feeling? You look much better now," said James.

"I feel much better," smiled Lily.

"Well you are still not going back to work until next week," said James.

"I know the rules, two days bed rest and take it easy for the next few days," said Lily rolling her eyes.

"Exactly. I hope it's alright, I slept on the couch. I didn't want you to wake up and panic if Harry wasn't here…and you know if you needed anything I would be here," said James.

"It's fine, thank you. I appreciate it," smiled Lily.

"No problem"

"Yuck you're not going to kiss are you," said Harry screwing up his face.

"No," laughed James, "girls are yucky"

"Mummy isn't yucky," said Harry outraged anyone would even suggest that.

"No you're right Mummy is definitely not yucky," said James.

"Although Mummy you don't look as pretty today," said Harry looking up at her with his big bambi eyes.

"Thank you Harry," said Lily putting him in his chair, "you are a charmer just like your dad"

"Hey I am charming," James protested.

"Sure you are," said Lily rolling her eyes.

"I am, I won you over and that was not easy I can tell you," said James sitting a cup of tea down in front of Lily.

"Yeah it only took you seven years," smirked Lily.

"Hmmmpphhh….." grumbled James then he noticed Lily wasn't looking so great, "Lily are you okay?"

"No, I think I'm going to be sick," said Lily running out the room, and up to the bathroom.

----0--------------------------

That night after Harry went to bed, James came downstairs to find Lily was now awake. She had been asleep on the couch most of the day.

"Did he go to sleep alright?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, poor little guy he was exhausted," said James flopping down on chair.

"Looks like he's not the only one. What's the matter you starting to feel your age now?" Lily teased.

"Hey, I'm not old. I chase Deatheaters everyday," said an indignant James.

"But you can't handle a little baby for one day," said Lily.

"Come on, he's exhausting," moaned James.

"Yeah you have to let him amuse himself or you'll wear yourself out," said Lily.

"Now you tell me," said James throwing his arms up.

"Sorry," said Lily, "He has so much fun with you."

"And I had a great time with him," said James.

"Are you going back to the house tonight?" asked Lily suddenly.

"Um….I guess, if you're feeling…" said James.

"Would you mind staying another night? Just in case Harry has more nightmares….oh wait you'll have work, you were off today so I guess you're on nightshift…it doesn't matter."

"I'm not working, I told them I'm taking the next week off. So I'm here whenever you need me, and yeah I'll stay as long as you want me to," said James.

"You really didn't have to take all that time off," said Lily.

"I've done enough of putting the job before you both and I'm not doing it again," said James.

"Well thank you," said Lily.

"Don't mention it. You really do seem a lot better today," said James.

"Yeah I am. Thank you for last night, I can barely remember it, but I know you brought me back from the hospital and took care of Harry," said Lily.

"Harry is my son, you don't have to thank me for looking after him, I'm his dad," said James, "And I'll always look after you"

"Well thank you," said Lily.

"No problem," said James, "So you really did like it when I kissed your neck," he grinned.

"Um…" said Lily blushing.

James just laughed, "Don't worry about it, I already knew."

---------------------------------------

So James stayed with them all week until Lily was back to normal, and then he left again. They both went back to work.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Owwwwwwww," Sophie screamed.

"It's okay," said James, "come on Sirius where are you?"

Deatheaters had swarmed Diagon Alley, James was one of the Aurors sent to fight them. Sophie had been shopping when it all happened and had gone into Labour. James had managed to get her inside one of the shops and out of immediate danger, but they couldn't move her it was too dangerous. So he had sent Sirius to go and get a healer to deliver the baby.

"Hey, I could only find…." Said Sirius but he was cut off by Lily barging into the room.

"Oh Soph I told you to stay at home, I said you could go into labour at any moment," she said worriedly crouching down to where Sophie was lying.

"I told you to get a healer not my bloody wife," James shouted.

"She was the only one I could find, and she wouldn't get anyone else," Sirius protested.

"She is still here," said Lily, "and I'm not going to let you two idiots deliver my best friends baby"

"Hey I was there when Harry was born," said James defensively.

"Yeah but you weren't the one pushing him out," said Lily as Sophie screamed out in agony.

"Alright then, lets see how far along you are," said Lily putting on her rubber gloves and shoving her hands up Sophie's skirt, "Okay you're 9 centimetres dilated, it won't be long now."

"Sirius go outside and stand guard, make sure no'one finds out what is going on in here, the last thing we need is those bastards storming the place," said James.

"Great way to keep her calm," snapped Lily.

"Sorry"

"Owwwww, don't shout at AHHHHHH him, you haven't even told him you SON OF A BITCH might be pregnant," screamed Sophie.

"You?" said James to Lily.

"YES HER!"

"Thanks Soph, why don't you just take this and breathe in the happy gas," said Lily handing Sophie a magical breathing mask loaded with gas to help the pain.

Sophie grabbed in and breathed it in as fast as she could.

"Okay come on slow down, remember your breathing exercise. One deep, 3 shallow breaths," said Lily.

"You're pregnant?" demanded James.

"I think we have more important and urgent matters right now," snapped Lily.

"She…doesn't know….won't do the test," gasped Sophie.

"Okay, it's happening now. You're going to have to push now," said Lily.

"Her period is almost 3 weeks….late," grunted Sophie as she pushed.

"I can see a head," shouted Lily, "Deep breath and push again"

-------------------------------------------

Two hours later, James, Lily, Sirius and Sophie were in St Mungo's. Sophie had given birth to a healthy baby girl. Sophie's parents and in laws had just arrived.

"Well done, you were amazing today. I'm going to have to go and get Harry I left him with my mother," said Lily hugging Sophie, "I'll come and visit you tomorrow"

"Yeah we better get off as well," said Sirius.

"Yeah, you did great today," said James, "Lily I'll walk you out"

"Okay," said Lily knowing exactly what was coming next, "Bye" she said to Sophie hugging her.

They all said their goodbyes and left Sophie's room, Sirius walked off in the opposite direction as Lily and James. They stood outside Sophie's room.

"So…was she…. I mean when she…. Are you three weeks late?" said James.

"Yes," said Lily, "but it could be anything, my body is probably still out of sync from the flu. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm pregnant"

"We had sex a month ago, I didn't do the contraception charm and neither did you," said James.

"That doesn't mean anything"

"Then why won't you do the test?" said Sophie appearing at the door.

"You should be resting," said Lily.

"I'm doing what you should have done weeks ago," said Sophie.

"Lily do the test. It will take you two minutes," said James. Lily was a healer and could perform the charm that shows a sonogram in a bubble above the abdomen.

"No"

"Do it!"

"I don't think I can do it to myself," said Lily.

"That is rubbish, you did it all the time when you were pregnant with Harry," said James.

"Alright," said Lily, closing her eyes and screwing up her face in concentration but nothing happened.

"Oh for the love of Merlin," said Sophie then she muttered the incantation.

Then the bubble appeared above Lily's stomach that showed a 4 week old foetus.

"Alright," shouted Lily making it disappear.

"Lily," said James calmly.

"Are you happy now? You knocked me up AGAIN," Lily shouting storming off to the apparation point.

"Go after her," urged Sophie. James was just standing there staring in shock.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

James watched as his mother in law left Lily's house and then he let himself in. He knew Harry would be asleep by now. He checked the living room, she wasn't there. He checked all the rooms, until he was standing outside her bedroom.

"Lily," he said knocking lightly on the door.

"What?" came her snappy reply.

He opened the door, he immediately saw that she was lying curled up on the bed. He was standing over her. She was curled up like a baby, her covers right up at her chin.

"Lily sweetie…"

"I'm scared James," she said a little voice.

"I know," he sighed. He knew she must be really terrified if she was willing to admit being scared.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes. Then he climbed in next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"You don't need to be scared, I'm right here and I'll always be right here," he said pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Promise?"

"I promise," he said.

"Okay then"

----------------------------------

Lily woke up an hour later, she hadn't meant to fall asleep. James was standing with his back to her looking out of the window.

"Hmmm James," she mumbled rolling out of bed.

"I'm still here," he said turning round to her.

"Good," she smiled, there was no denying that her husband was sexy, handsome and….yum.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah I am," said Lily.

"That's…..good," said James, he knew what was going to happen. He knew the look Lily had.

Lily reached up putting her hand in the back of his neck, pulling his head down to her and she kissed him…. And one thing led to another.

--------------------------------------

Later that night Lily woke up again and again James wasn't there. He was looking out the window again, in only his boxers.

"James…." Said Lily pulling on her dressing gown, and walking over to him.

He didn't move or respond, or answer her.

"James…," she said resting her chin on his shoulder, his back was still to her.

Still nothing.

"I don't regret it," she said, wrapping her arms round his waist.

"What's that?" she asked, he was holding something in his hand.

He opened his hand, and there were her rings.

"Oh…" she said, reaching out to touch them.

"I wish you would say something," she said, it wasn't like James to be so quiet.

Lily put her wedding ring finger into the rings, but did not push them down into place.

"It's up to you," she said, "If you want me, put them on like you did 3 years ago."

Still James didn't move or speak or respond to her in any way.

"I love you," she said, "James…please come on, you're starting to scare me"

No response from James.

"James, look at me….please," she said slipping her finger out of the rings.

She took and step so that she was next to him instead of being behind him.

"James Arnold Potter, if you don't snap out of it…." Shouted Lily.

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"Finally," said Lily, "I thought you were ignoring me"

"No I was just thinking," he said.

"About?"

"This," he said, "with us? I have no idea what is going on in your head"

"I know I'm giving out mixed signals and I'm sorry," she said taking her rings out of his hand.

"I know why you left me, and I understand now. I didn't know how far I pushed you, so when I found you gone I was….shocked, devastated and I don't know."

"I'm sorry"

"No, I'm sorry," said James.

"So…. I guess we have to talk about…you know the baby and….other stuff"

"Hmmmm I guess so. We need to talk, decide stuff about us," said James.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we have to decide, we can't keep just having sex and…. I can't do it anymore," said James.

"Yeah I know," she sighed.

"So…." He said turning to look her straight in the eye.

She looked down at the rings on her finger, and back up at him.

"I want to try again," she said, "If you want to…"

"If I want to, are you kidding me?" said James in disbelief.

"Is that a yes?"

James didn't answer he just pulled her to him and kissed her.


End file.
